I’ve always had an uneasy relationship with the word “nice.” It feels empty, as if it’s more about avoiding discomfort than standing firm in what truly matters. Niceness can be a natural byproduct of being kind or good, but it’s not a requirement. While I may come across as nice sometimes, that has never been my goal. I was raised to be good -to act with integrity, to be honest even when it’s difficult and to stand by my principles. Goodness requires more than surface-level politeness; it demands action, conviction and sometimes even discomfort. And that’s something entirely different.

Someone once suggested a book to me at a young age called No More Christian Nice Guy. That title stuck with me. One of the main parts I remember from this book was the story of Jesus entering the temple and seeing people using a holy place to make money. He didn’t just shake his head or politely ask them to leave -he got angry. He flipped over tables, shouted and corrected their behavior. That moment, recorded in Matthew 21:12-13, Mark 11:15-17 and John 2:13-16, showed me that righteousness isn’t always gentle or agreeable. Sometimes, standing for what is right means making noise and disrupting comfort, even if it doesn’t fit the mold of being “nice

Matthew 21:12-13 (NIV) “Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. ‘It is written,’ he said to them, ‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” Mark 11:15-17 (NIV) “On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple courts and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. And as he taught them, he said, ‘Is it not written: My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations’? But you have made it ‘a den of robbers.’” John 2:13-16 (NIV) “When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, ‘Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!’” </blockquote> </blockquote>

Also, to me, being good means I may hurt someone’s feelings -not because I want to, but because honesty and truth matter more than temporary comfort. While I may withhold certain truths or bend in my principles depending on special circumstances, it’s definitely not to the point where someone wouldn’t recognize me by my choices, words or actions.

That doesn’t mean I go around being harsh for the sake of it. I believe people trust and like you more when they know you’re real, not just putting on a friendly face to be liked. Authenticity builds deeper connections than blind agreeableness ever could.

Being good means being willing to stand for something, even when it’s inconvenient. It means looking beyond the immediate reaction and thinking about what’s actually best in the long run.

So if I ever come across as not-so-nice, know that it’s not out of a lack of caring. Quite the opposite -I care enough to be real with you because at the end of the day, I’d rather be good than just nice.